I Know Who I Am

I KNOW WHO I AM

I am God's child (John 1:12)
I am Christ's friend (John 15:15 )
I am united with the Lord (1 Cor. 6:17)
I am bought with a price (1 Cor 6:19-20)
I am a saint (set apart for God). (Eph. 1:1)
I am a personal witness of Christ. (Acts 1:8)
I am the salt & light of the earth (Matt 5:13-14)
I am a member of the body of Christ (1 Cor 12:27)
I am free forever from condemnation ( Rom. 8: 1-2)
I am a citizen of Heaven. I am significant (Phil 3 :20)
I am free from any charge against me (Rom. 8:31 -34)
I am a minister of reconciliation for God (2 Cor 5:17-21)
I have access to God through the Holy Spirit (Eph. 2:18)
I am seated with Christ in the heavenly realms (Eph. 2:6)
I cannot be separated from the love of God (Rom 8:35-39)
I am established, anointed, sealed by God (2 Cor 1:21-22 )
I am assured all things work together for good (Rom. 8:28 )
I have been chosen and appointed to bear fruit (John 15:16 )
I may approach God with freedom and confidence (Eph.. 3: 12 )
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me (Phil. 4:13 )
I am the branch of the true vine, a channel of His life (John 15: 1-5)
I am God's temple (1 Cor. 3: 16).
I am complete in Christ (Col. 2: 10)
I am hidden with Christ in God (Col. 3:3).
I have been justified (Romans 5:1)
I am God's co-worker (1 Cor. 3:9; 2 Cor 6:1).
I am God's workmanship (Eph. 2:10)
I am confident that the good works God has begun in me will be perfected. (Phil. 1:5)
I have been redeemed and forgiven ( Col 1:14).
I have been adopted as God's child (Eph 1:5)
I belong to God
Do you know
Who you are?

Life

"There's an opportune time to do things, a right time for everything on the earth:
A right time for birth and another for death,
A right time to plant and another to reap,
A right time to kill and another to heal,
A right time to destroy and another to construct,
A right time to cry and another to laugh,
A right time to lament and another to cheer,
A right time to make love and another to abstain,
A right time to embrace and another to part,
A right time to search and another to count your losses,
A right time to hold on and another to let go,
A right time to rip out and another to mend,
A right time to shut up and another to speak up,
A right time to love and another to hate,
A right time to wage war and another to make peace." (Eccl 3:1-8 MSG)

There are the joyous times of life and there are also the saddening times. Over the past 7-8 years I have dealt with theses two stages of life, happy and sad.

It really started in 2002, when my Mom's Dad was diagnosed with cancer. Needless to say it was right around Thanksgiving and Christmas, making those two extra special and difficult at the same time. He was fighting through treatments and pain, but right before my junior year's finals, he lost that fight. I was closing up at Blockbuster on a Sunday night, when my Dad called me and told me I should get home. After a quick call to my Residence Director, I drove home. The positive in this was I was able to see and talk to my Pap one last time before he past. I went back to college and finished up my finals and headed to my Uncle's for my summer internship.

For weeks we dealt with my Pap's death. We were making sure to do a lot of stuff with family at that time, you know how that kind of event can make you draw closer to family.

Now fast forward about 2 months, my parents went camping every 4th of July weekend with some friends. I was heading up to see them and later the rest of my Dad's family was coming to visit. My Dad's parents only lived about 10 minutes from where the campground was. It was starting to get later than what they said they would be there by and at the campground cell service was barely there on a good day. So my Dad and his friend, Randy, decided to head over to house to see if they need help with anything. When they got the they found my Gram, sitting at the table dazed and not function normally. My Pap, in shock of the events that happened, wasn't thinking straight either. They called for an ambulance. My Grams had collapsed while make lunch. She was rushed to the Carlisle Hospital and later taken to the Hershey Medical Center. She was diagnosed with a Level 3.75, 4 being the highest, brain tumor. I can still remember stand at the altar in my Uncle's church embracing him and telling him "it's not fair, I just lost a grandparent". I will tell you I went rounds with God on that. But about a month and half later, joy found our family. My sister gave birth to my nephew Labor Day weekend. One of the most beautiful things, at that point in my life, I saw came about a week later watching my Grams holding him.

For the next year, she was battling with the brain tumor. She had gone through a special radiation treatment and started to show signs of improvement. That was joyous for us as a family. She was able to ee her "favorite" grandson, my opinion, graduate from college. I moved to New York and she was unable to visit, but I made sure I made it home as often as I could because the doctors were not giving us good reports on her. Then, once again, I receive that dreaded phone call from my sister. I drove home, walked into my grandparents' home, said hi to everyone, and then go to Sheetz with my sister to get coffee with everyone. When I arrived the nurse was in with my Pap and Grams. We returned back to their home, they told me she was asking for me. So I walked into her room, grabbed her hand and told her "I love you". She closed her eyes for the last time seconds later. I will tell you what, that messed me up. I was a Grammy's boy.

Sorry to be so depressing. But as sad as it might be to read, writing this first part has been hard for me. Brings back an array of emotions and feeling. But my goal is to try help.

I think we need a little more joy! One year and one month later, joy came. August 20, 2005 in beautiful Lake George, NY, while visiting my girlfriend's aunt and uncle. I asked my best friend to marry me and she said, "YES!" Man, talk about a high. Where would this blog have gone if she had said "NO". Anyways, 6 months later, my Pap married us and we headed out on our honeymoon. That was a funny adventure in itself. All I have to say is February 11, 2006...still not helping, one more word, BLIZZARD! Thanks to my parents, they got us out of the snow and into the sun.

When we returned home from our honeymoon, we faced another change of life. I'm not referring to living with each other, but I was put into a time of transition. So over the next 8-10 months while looking for a church, I used my skills in other areas and hated it. We finally found something that looked promising but the timing just didn't seem right.

A time of great joy was around the corner for us, and I was not talking about Christmas. But it had many of the same affects, "SHE WAS PREGNANT". Wow, talk about happy, but also I was dealing with a lot on the inside. Things that I really didn't let my wife know I was feeling. I was still in transition, looking for a job. She is pregnant, how will I provide. Remember the timing was right for that one position, well the pastor had called me back and some things had change at the church, making it the right timing for us to go.

September 6, 2007, my gorgeous little girl came into the world! Turn my life upside down. I was a DAD, is that possible. I think I grew an inch that day. Talk about joy. There are some many joyous times I could talk about, first words, first steps, and the list goes on and on and on.

I hope everyone feels a little bit happier now. I told you it would get better. But now comes to part that prompted me to write this blog.

Over the past weekend, I found out that a friend from college had passed away. He is my age. He is married with kids. But he is no longer here. He was hiking on the Rocky Mountains and had fell to his death. (For more on his passing click here) I was heartbroken for his wife and kids, but something hit me last night that made it even more so heartbreaking it was the same day as his wife's birthday. Wow!

It really made me think about life and death and family. It is amazing what emotions and feelings we get from all three. No matter how close or distant a family is life and death, will usually bring them together. All I know is last night, when I was reading through some of the comments people were leaving for my friend's wife on Facebook; right before the first "I'm sorry to hear..." I saw "Happy Birthday", it made me reach out to hold my wife's hand.

Life is such a fragile thing, we are not promised tomorrow. So don't spend your time hating or complaining, but make sure you let those you love, know you love them. Dads take a little extra time with your kids, play catch or dolls, just do something with with them. Let your wife know that she means the world to you and that you love her, do some of the small thing again. Make sure that if your number is called, you wouldn't have any regrets.

Sleepless in...my room!

Sleepless nights...not being able to fall asleep, broken sleep, awaken in the middle sleep. Why do they happen? Sometimes it comes from the food we eat before we go to bed, the neighbor's dog barking, a beloved child interrupting, or someone higher! No matter what the reason it happens. Some are easier to fix than others too.

I know for myself lately the Lord has been interfering with my sleep one way or the other. Examples are laying in bed thinking of future ministry opportunities and visions for it, waking me up to give me sermon ideas or things I need to pray for, or what I think is just sometimes seeing if I will obey.

You may be confused by the last thought, to see if I will obey. These times could get a little frustrating. It is when God wakes me up, but doesn't speak to me or my thoughts just start running. I wake up and I lay there silence all around. Then I cry out (in my head, so I don't wake up my wife) like those from the day of old, "Here am I, Lord!!!!!" But with no answer. And I start to fall asleep and awake again, and say "Here am I, Lord!" Still with no answer. Eventually, God will speak or let me go back to sleep. But those nights He doesn't speak makes me really wonder, did I miss something, was it God, or is He just playing with me? But I have started to look at it as a test of obedience.

Can I give some encouragement to ya? First off, when God speaks make sure you write it down. I can't tell you how many times He has revealed something to me and come the morning and it is there but not in full color. Second, as you are faithful with His calling, that means you waking up, He will show Himself faithful to show you things. Third, some of "my" best ideas have come in the midnight hours. I think that is because my mind isn't functioning enough to mess up His thoughts and plans.

So are sleepless nights really that bad? Not as long as it is God speaking. Other than that yes they are terrible. I wish you a good night's sleep and may the Lord speak to ya.

First Love

So last night as I was starting to fall asleep, this thought came to me about our First Love. Many times when we think of our first love we daydream back to elementary or middle school to that first person we liked or maybe even our first high school sweetheart. I want to take a look at two loves, our spouse and our Savior.

Let’s start with our Savior. For some people it is so easy to remember what it was like for them to fall in love with God, because it came with a crisis. For some it may have been drugs, alcohol, a death, a bad relationship, etc. So it makes it easy to remember the feeling you had when you accepted God into your life. Then there may be some like me, I was raised in a Christian home, my grandfather was the pastor at the church I grew up in, but it wasn't until high school that I had ,what some call, my "Ah ha" moment. That time in life where God really shows Himself to you.

My came while at a youth conference, now don’t get me wrong I had a relationship with God before that but it was one that was more of this is what my family does. I really didn’t know a different way of life; we went to church, we helped at church, church was a part of life. But with all that said, once that “ah ha” moment happened it was like a fire was lit under me. I had heard all the Bible stories but now I wanted to read the whole Bible through, I was looking for insight as I read not just completing a reading assignment. It was like a whole new side of God was opened up to me. The funny thing is it was there all along.

God wants nothing more than to have an intimate relationship with us. He pulls and pulls at our hearts until we let Him in. Then all that He has for us becomes ours. We are told in the Romans 8:17, “Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.” The fault of us losing this is our…we become LAZY. We fall into our routine with God, we repeat little prayers instead of really talking with Him, we read the Bible as a school assignment or fly through it instead of chewing on it, looking for something deeper. Then we wonder “Where did God go?” It not where did God go, but us needing to fall in love again. In Joshua and Hebrews, we are told, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” It is His desire to be with us.

When we get to this stagnant point, we often here “you need to get back to the place of your first love”. There is truth in that, but I think many times people read into that the wrong way. We look at it like we need to go to that place (physical) to find it. For many believers that are my age or that found Christ in the 90’s, it’s not that we need another “Brownsville” experience as much as we need to find ourselves in that same desperation for God. Trust me bringing back banners, “Enemy’s Feet”, and other things from the revival are not going to do it for you. It is between you and God. It will come from your desire to be with, immerse yourself in, wait upon, or cry out for God. It comes from your motives not the materials.

So that is how we get back the “True Love” we have with God; now our love for our spouse. Think back to the first couple days, weeks, or months you met the person you are married to. (If you have not made it to this part of life, keep reading it may help you in the future.) There was no need for sleep. You would be on the phone to early hours of the morning talking, possibly falling asleep on the phone, dragging yourself into work the next morning. Guys, you know, you went out of your way to do all the right things to win her affection. Open doors, bought little gifts (just because), did all the little things, and maybe even showered more than once a day. Then you start to become comfortable in your relationship, so some of the little things started to slip. But when you realized this is the one you are going to marry, you pick up on those little things again. Because this is the one you want to spend the rest of your life with! You get married, everything is beautiful. But once again, you start getting comfortable in your relationship. Roles in your relationship have been determined and you live life together. Now don’t get me wrong, not every couple falls out of love once they find a comfortable spot, but in today’s society when most people find something to be comfortable, they find it boring.

For me, being comfortable in my marriage is a wonderful thing and has helped our marriage grow stronger. But for some it opens up feelings that leave them unhappy. They start drifting away from that person, it not them it is their spouse’s fault. The spouse doesn’t do the things they used to. When in reality, it is the person that is complaining fault. They probably stopped long before the other person, but they have come to the place of looking what the other can do for them. And that is what happens with God too. We stop praying and reading, then wonder why God isn’t speaking to us. We have to go back to that place of our first love with our spouse.

Now you may be able to recreate that first date or even the night you proposed, but it is more about you wanting to learn about that person all over. Free up your schedule, make time for your spouse. Trust me they want more than just your money, they want your time. Start doing some of the small things again, little gifts just because, etc.

I find it interesting the correlation between our relationship with God and our relationship with our spouse. When problems arise in either relationship, the problem is with us not them. We need to find and remember why we chose to love them. We have to connect back in with them. And if you are having problem within your marriage look at your relationship with God, it is probably struggling too. The deeper in love we are with God, the the deeper in love with our spouse we will be. We find reassurance in that, from Paul in Ephesians 5:22-33 where he talks to us about submitting to each other and loving as Christ loves the church.

Fall back in love with God and your spouse.

Leading from empty...

Just a week ago at this time I was sitting on the beach in Delaware. It was a relaxing week and I had time to do some reflecting. Jeanne Mayo said something to the effect of, "When it is time for me to go on vacation, I feel like quitting." Frustrations always seem to mount right before you go away.

But my question today is what do you do when vacation does ease the frustrations or you come back to more frustrations? You go away, you find peace with the world, re-energize, maybe even hear direction from God. But you get back to the same things and frustrations before you left. There could be many reasons for that, one being you didn't handle something or is it God is trying to get you do something(else).
Over vacation I was reading a blog on dealing with frustrations and what they may mean. Sorry I couldn't find the blog to link it for ya, but it has help me find peace with somethings.

One of the most important things you can do with frustrations is vent them. Don't hold them inside, it will do more damage to you then anyone else. Be careful to whom you vent, it could come back and kick you in the butt too. This is where you look to a coach or accountability partner; men, especially those in ministry, don't vent to your wife!!!! Remember she is your partner in ministry and you need her to keep a good attitude throughout it all. That doesn't mean she can't know that you are frustrated, but leave some of the facts out for her. Protect your family.

With all this said, I am understanding to purpose that God has designed me for. I know what I must do. Now comes the hard part and fun part...doing it.

“I have been impressed with the urgency of doing. Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Being willing is not enough; we must do.” Leonardo da Vinci