First Love

So last night as I was starting to fall asleep, this thought came to me about our First Love. Many times when we think of our first love we daydream back to elementary or middle school to that first person we liked or maybe even our first high school sweetheart. I want to take a look at two loves, our spouse and our Savior.

Let’s start with our Savior. For some people it is so easy to remember what it was like for them to fall in love with God, because it came with a crisis. For some it may have been drugs, alcohol, a death, a bad relationship, etc. So it makes it easy to remember the feeling you had when you accepted God into your life. Then there may be some like me, I was raised in a Christian home, my grandfather was the pastor at the church I grew up in, but it wasn't until high school that I had ,what some call, my "Ah ha" moment. That time in life where God really shows Himself to you.

My came while at a youth conference, now don’t get me wrong I had a relationship with God before that but it was one that was more of this is what my family does. I really didn’t know a different way of life; we went to church, we helped at church, church was a part of life. But with all that said, once that “ah ha” moment happened it was like a fire was lit under me. I had heard all the Bible stories but now I wanted to read the whole Bible through, I was looking for insight as I read not just completing a reading assignment. It was like a whole new side of God was opened up to me. The funny thing is it was there all along.

God wants nothing more than to have an intimate relationship with us. He pulls and pulls at our hearts until we let Him in. Then all that He has for us becomes ours. We are told in the Romans 8:17, “Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.” The fault of us losing this is our…we become LAZY. We fall into our routine with God, we repeat little prayers instead of really talking with Him, we read the Bible as a school assignment or fly through it instead of chewing on it, looking for something deeper. Then we wonder “Where did God go?” It not where did God go, but us needing to fall in love again. In Joshua and Hebrews, we are told, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” It is His desire to be with us.

When we get to this stagnant point, we often here “you need to get back to the place of your first love”. There is truth in that, but I think many times people read into that the wrong way. We look at it like we need to go to that place (physical) to find it. For many believers that are my age or that found Christ in the 90’s, it’s not that we need another “Brownsville” experience as much as we need to find ourselves in that same desperation for God. Trust me bringing back banners, “Enemy’s Feet”, and other things from the revival are not going to do it for you. It is between you and God. It will come from your desire to be with, immerse yourself in, wait upon, or cry out for God. It comes from your motives not the materials.

So that is how we get back the “True Love” we have with God; now our love for our spouse. Think back to the first couple days, weeks, or months you met the person you are married to. (If you have not made it to this part of life, keep reading it may help you in the future.) There was no need for sleep. You would be on the phone to early hours of the morning talking, possibly falling asleep on the phone, dragging yourself into work the next morning. Guys, you know, you went out of your way to do all the right things to win her affection. Open doors, bought little gifts (just because), did all the little things, and maybe even showered more than once a day. Then you start to become comfortable in your relationship, so some of the little things started to slip. But when you realized this is the one you are going to marry, you pick up on those little things again. Because this is the one you want to spend the rest of your life with! You get married, everything is beautiful. But once again, you start getting comfortable in your relationship. Roles in your relationship have been determined and you live life together. Now don’t get me wrong, not every couple falls out of love once they find a comfortable spot, but in today’s society when most people find something to be comfortable, they find it boring.

For me, being comfortable in my marriage is a wonderful thing and has helped our marriage grow stronger. But for some it opens up feelings that leave them unhappy. They start drifting away from that person, it not them it is their spouse’s fault. The spouse doesn’t do the things they used to. When in reality, it is the person that is complaining fault. They probably stopped long before the other person, but they have come to the place of looking what the other can do for them. And that is what happens with God too. We stop praying and reading, then wonder why God isn’t speaking to us. We have to go back to that place of our first love with our spouse.

Now you may be able to recreate that first date or even the night you proposed, but it is more about you wanting to learn about that person all over. Free up your schedule, make time for your spouse. Trust me they want more than just your money, they want your time. Start doing some of the small things again, little gifts just because, etc.

I find it interesting the correlation between our relationship with God and our relationship with our spouse. When problems arise in either relationship, the problem is with us not them. We need to find and remember why we chose to love them. We have to connect back in with them. And if you are having problem within your marriage look at your relationship with God, it is probably struggling too. The deeper in love we are with God, the the deeper in love with our spouse we will be. We find reassurance in that, from Paul in Ephesians 5:22-33 where he talks to us about submitting to each other and loving as Christ loves the church.

Fall back in love with God and your spouse.